I’m a Malayalee and I’m sick and tired of all the misconceptions and half-truths that float around about my people. We’re a community of peace loving people from a little South Indian State called Kerala. I’m sure many of you have heard about us and our people and have a lot of questions. Let me answer the most commonly asked ones. Believe me.. these are questions asked by people that I’ve met over the years.
Q: Why do you introduce ourselves as “Keralite” or “Malayalee” instead of Indian ?
A: In majority of cases its as plain as day that we’re from India, so when asked about our origin its redundant to say that we’re Indian and therefore much quicker to say “I’m from Kerala”
Q: Why aren’t you guys patriotic like the rest of us?
A: If you define patriotism by singing and dancing to silly Bollywood songs, worshiping SRK, SK, AK (and God knows what other xxK’s), spending hours watching cricket, eating aloo gobi and forwarding emails about how many Indians work in Microsoft and NASA… then sorry I’m not a patriot like YOU
Q: Why don’t you guys speak Hindi ?
A: Many of us do but not very well, there are many reasons for that
1. In case you didn’t know, We have our own spoken language and script called Malayalam. 90% of people from Kerala speak this language fluently and the 10% who don’t are too slow to learn it
2. Many of us leave India as soon as we finish college or have never been to India till we reach a certain age hence don’t have much use for this language.
3. We have an abundance of literature, film and music culture in our state and in our own language therefore most people don’t venture beyond Malayalam media
Q: Why do Christians, Muslims and Hindus live far more peacefully in Kerala than in other parts of India?
A: I’m not really sure about that but Christians have been in Kerala since AD52 and Muslims have a strong presence since the 8th Century so I guess they’ve learnt to co-exist peacefully. Recently, thanks to extremist influence from the North and across the border there have been some incidents of communal unrest but that’s just a passing phase(hopefully)
Q: Why do Malayalees almost always end up in the Middle East, US or Europe after they finish their college education ?
A: For this I have to thank the democratic voting system in Kerala that makes it possible for idiotic regimes like the Communist party to come to power and also have to thank the Communist party for destroying the economy and future of our state. Thanks to them, for the past 40 or so years people have fled the state coz they wont allow private institutions or entrepreneurs to flourish.
Q: Why do Malayalees eat Beef? why cant you eat ‘normal’ food?
A: We don’t consider the cow to be some kind of magical or holy creature. For us a cow is a source of milk, dairy products and meat. Further more thanks to the secular nature of our society there are no taboos when it comes to Beef and Pork being served in restaurants. I’d also like to add that the ‘Porotta and Beef fry’ combo is the most popular meal in Kerala, available day and night!
Q: Why do Keralites have greasy hair and greasy skin?
A: A lot of us use coconut oil on our hair and bodies since coconut oil is a natural moisturizer and is better than most chemical creams
Q: Why do Malayalees drink so much alcohol?
A: During Onam festivities this year, Keralites drank their way thru Rs. 340,000,000 (this is not a joke, thats more than 2 Million KD) worth of alcohol on a single day! Everyone knows we like to have a little fun.. and how can we do that without a drink?
Q: Why do Malayalees sound funny when they speak English or other languages.
A: Its a common phenomenon called Mother Tongue Interference… have you heard a Frenchman speak English? Exactly!
Q: Are Malayalees good people ?
A: We’re probably one of the friendliest and most caring people in the whole world… sure our suicide rates are high but infant mortality rates are the lowest in India!
Thank you, have a nice day and enjoy the video below
I am a Malayalee on Youtube [link]